Category Archives: “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up…”

You Can Not Make This Up

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    We purchased a new home to restore. In the back yard was an old tool shed full of tools & junk. You know the kind of things you can not throw out, the extra screws and things…LOL.
    Mark picked up a box from the floor. The bottom of the box gave out dumping all kinds of things onto his feet. Mark let out a OMG yell!! There was a gun on the floor. This old gun was loaded. Hum… what to do???
    We first called Community TP officer Sean. He said to call the Tampa non emergency police line. The officer came right out. Walking up to us the first thing the officer said was, “Hi Mark & Carrie what are you guys doing here?”
    She said the gun was definitely loaded and very old. The police would run the serial numbers and find out if it was stolen. Then we started to talk about the new home.  She said that most of the officers in the area were a female squad.
    Then asked if they could park their cruisers in our side lot to do paper work. We smiled and said “Tomorrow there will be a Police parking only sign going up!”
    We are going to love living in Gary Town!!

You Can Not make this Up.

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The Flamingo Auto Group was hosting a car club weekend in Ft. Lauderdale. The hotel was owned by a car collector and the lobby was full of fun auto collectibles. We went to reserve our room on line. For just a little more we could up grade to the penthouse, which we did. We arrived to check in with a lot of luggage. After checking into the penthouse they actually said…….”Take the elevator to the 10th floor. Then get out and take the stairs up one flight to the penthouse.” We did it and there was a sign on the door that said “Employees Only”. LOL What the current owners of the hotel called the Penthouse was actually the former employee rooms add on the roof!!! LOL

You Can Not Make This Up.

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    When we first moved into MC Film Ybor 8 years ago we had the cooler moved by professional movers. The guys had the large heavy 3 door cooler out on the back lift of the moving truck starting  lowering it down. Just then the local powerful parking ticket person showed up.
    Puffing out his little Napoleon chest he said, “MOVE it NOW or get a ticket!!!”
    Of course we couldn’t stop in mid air as we were balancing the cooler.. The very kind ticket guy gave us a parking ticket.
    This past week we were moving out of MC FILM. Busy loading our van the new parking guy showed up and… you guessed it, Gave us a parking ticket!!! LOL Some things will never change in Ybor City.

You Can Not make this Up.

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One day at the neighborhood 7-11, there was quite the collection of characters there. We had just finished paying when the clerk yelled at a guy eating donuts… :You know you gotta pay for the donuts your eating!” He yelled back “What you B talking about? I aint eating any donuts!” We all started to laugh… his face was covered in sugar!!! Things started to get heated up.We decided not to leave the clerk alone in the store with the donut eater. Just then a police office walked in. He asked what was going on. The clerk told him Then the donut eater said again that he wasn’t eating donuts.  The officer and clerk talked and decided to give him a no trespassing warrant. As the donut eater was leaving he complained this was just wrong. We all laughed even harder. the office told us with a big smile “I was just coming in for a slurpee!”

You Can Not make this Up.

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It’s that time of the year again…. Prom Season.  This past weekend we were watching all the prom kids in GaYBOR/Ybor City. All dressed up & coming out of mile long limos and party buses. There was this group of 8 couple in beautiful dress’s and tux’s. Hair all done perfectly. They were posing for photos on the cobblestone streets and in front of the historic parts of our town.  Then much to our surprise up pulls a pickup truck. The group of guys and gals all climbed into the back and drove down 7th Ave!!! I understand not having a limo but renting a pickup truck OMG!!!!

You Can Not Make this Up

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    Years ago Mark was working in North Tampa at the University Restaurant on Fowler Ave next to USF. There was a very famous Tampa Doctor’s wife that would like to drink there. Her 1st drink always cost $20.00. That was the price for her 1st drink & a cab to drive her home later. LOL
    She would always sit in the same booth. One day after she left we made a discovery!!!!!! In the small paper table tent advertising a drink special were her teeth!! She had taken them out and forgot them there!!! OMG What to do???
    We put them in a glass of vodka and called her husband. LOL When her husband picked them up he said. “This is not the first time. She is always leaving them somewhere.” 

You Can Not make this Up

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One day Tea Cup was busy bartending. A upper middle age man walked in. Tea Cup said “Hello”& the guys said “Hi I’m Johns father. You do know who John is RIGHT?” Tea smiles & said “I know a lot of guys names John.” To this the father replies “Well he is a facebook friend of yours!”   Tea Smiles & said “OK, but I have over 4,000 friends on facebook. Can you narrow it down a little?” The guy replies in an anger voice. “You liked two of his photos. I’m sure you know who John is!!!” This just started to get creepy. Tea asked if he would like a drinks & like to see a menu. The guy order a ice tea and burger. Didn’t say anything more but keep ed looking very strangely at Tea. His bill came it was $16.00 and he left a $10 tip. On the receipt he wrote in Caps THANK YOU!!!! Was this a father who thought his son was Gay? Was Dad Gay and wanted to come out? Or Was he a starker of John? WTF Strange People.

You Can Not Make this Up.

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Several years ago I was traveling, by myself, from Tampa to Orlando on I-4.  I had been in a hurry that day and forgot my cell phone. What a strange feeling that is. There was a big flatbed truck traveling in front of me. The truck hit a bump and some junk bumped off the trunk in into the road. I hit the junk and blew a tire. Then pulled over to the side of the road. Just then the car behind me pulled over. I though to myself… “Great now I’m going to get mugged!!!” Out of the car jumped 2 lesbians. They told me that they saw my rainbow stickers on the car and stopped to help me!!! The ladies were a couple traveling from Chicago and had a cell phone to help out. We all laughed about it all . On their way home the ladies stopped in Ybor City to have drinks with me.

You Can Not Make this Up

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Years ago Carrie’s corp job had him traveling the Southeast US a lot. He was driving a rental car in Tennessee and decided to stop in Nashville West End near Vanderbuilt University and visit his Aunt & Uncle. His Uncle was the minister at a church there. Carrie stopped at a convieance store and was asking the clerk if he knew where the church was in the cul du sac neighborhood. There was a guy in line behind him who said that he lived next to the church.
 He said, “Give me a ride home and I will show you where the church is”.
On the way he pointed out the different universities and historic buildings. They were a couple blocks away when the guy pulled a gun out. Pointed it at Carrie and demanded his money. Carrie hit the gas then the breaks. The gun went off, blowing a hole in the roof of the rented car. The car ended up in a yard. The guy jumped out and ran away.
The police called me weeks later with a guy caught who did the same thing 2 weeks later. I said, “Yup that is the $%@*(@!!!”

You Can Not Make this Up.

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    We once purchased an old Italian style house. The owner was very strange to say the least. She didn’t believe in air conditioning. Said she preferred the natural humid Florida summer weather. In the living room was a huge very ugly dresser that she had covered in fabric and beads. There were 3 huge mirrors on the back side.
    We told a white lie and said that we like it too. At the closing table she told us that the dresser and mirrors was ours, since we liked it so much.  When we moved it to the curb there was a surprise for us. She had wall papered the walls around the dresser & mirror and not behind it! And behind the wall paper was a 6″ hole in the Italian plastered wall and papered over.!! LOL