Saturday, August 22, 2008 at 1 AM was the end of an era in the Tampa GLBT Community. Tampa Gay pioneer, activist, founder and tender loving classy Southern Belle, Miss Kay Thompson passed away. Kay was the loving Aunt, Mother and Friend to many in our community. Just a few months earlier Kay’s life partner of 50+ years, Bobby Smith had passed away. For many of us, they were one person “Bobby & Kay”!  Bobby, who was born a woman, lived his life as a man. Bobby was also a photographer who started to document the GLBT life in Tampa from the early 1940’s. Bar names in the community like Knotty Pine, Jimmy White’s, Coco Joe’s and so many more places are captured in pics. Today many of his photos are in the GLBT Archives at USF. In the 1960’s Bobby met his life partner, Miss Kay!  Together they purchased a home in South Tampa just off Bayshore Blvd. Bobby went to work at Golden Triangle Photography & Miss Kay opened her flower shop, Ashley Florists on MacDill Ave. across from Palma Ceia  Country Club. A note of unsolicited gratitude to Miss Kay for all the flowers she gave to AIDS victims funerals in Tampa Bay. ” She did it because others wouldn’t and were afraid.” she had told me years ago. Several years later Bobby & Kay , together with a handful of close friends, contacted Rev Troy Perry & were founding members of Metropolitan Community Church Tampa. Together Bobby & Kay lead our community by example.  Always loving and caring yet tough as nails. Never afraid to stand up to homophobia, human rights & injustice. They both were always at every major and minor GLBT Event, Demonstration & Celebration. Gay Prides, March on Washington, Film Festival, MCC Tampa… They were everywhere!!!  In their later years, the two were always surrounded by many friends.  Their extended family was beyond huge! The only comfort we have is in the fact that Bobby & Kay are together again in heaven.

Bobby & Kay are what legends are made from!

TAMPA — Some of Bobby Smith’s friends and cousins didn’t even know.

He was male, through and through — clothes, hair, mannerisms. He worked hard and paid the bills. He went to church each week. The love of his life, Kay, cooked dinner and cleaned their South Tampa home.

He lived confidently and no one questioned — for a while, not even his co-workers.

Then one day, he needed a hysterectomy.

He was called into the company HR office and was asked about the doctors and surgery report and operation.

• • •

Smith’s family and friends say “he.”

It’s not that the word “she” offended Smith. He didn’t hide the truth if someone asked. He was physically always a woman.

But he was never really a girl.

“It’s amazing, even in his baby pictures, he looks like a boy,” said Smith’s friend, Derald Gingerich. “I think if there was ever a case for a man inside a woman’s body, it was Bobby.”

He was born in Georgia. His father taught him to box. Smith begrudgingly wore dresses to school, then changed into overalls first thing after.

“I’ve always liked boy’s clothes,” Smith told the St. Petersburg Times in 1992. “I didn’t go to college because I would have had to wear a dress. But I took a look in the mirror and said, ‘You can go and make it big in the world, or you can be at peace with yourself and eat beans.'”

At 15, Smith kissed a girl for the first time. His mother hauled him to the doctor, called him crazy and forced him to take “female hog hormones” to make him right.

He wore men’s briefs and cut his hair. He read The Well of Loneliness, by lesbian author Radclyffe Hall.

Smith was openly gay during a polarizing era. He endured humiliation and belittlement. In the late 1940s, police in the midst of a gay witch hunt picked him up and forced him to strip.

On Thanksgiving in 1959, he met a woman named Kay Thompson at a bar. Thompson wasn’t sure if this skinny dance partner in slacks was a man or a woman. But she didn’t care.

“I met Bobby and we just got along,” said Thompson, 84.

They had a commitment ceremony in 1960 at the home of Smith’s mother, who stayed in her room. Smith wore a suit and Thompson wore a gown. They had cake.

Smith worked as a dark room technician and photographer. They settled into Thompson’s South Tampa home. They baked cakes at Christmas. Smith always turned out the lights in the kitchen to save money.

The couple positioned his and hers recliners in front of the television. They sat this way, always.

• • •

They inspired many people in Tampa’s gay community.

They marched on Washington and lobbied local council leaders. They mortgaged their house to help build Metropolitan Community Church of Tampa, a Christian church that welcomes gay people.

“We would not be where we are today… without Bobby’s passion and dedication to his principles and his faith and his belief that everybody ought to be respected,” said Phyllis Hunt, pastor of MCC Tampa.

Eventually, Thompson broke her hip and needed full care. Smith became exhausted and had some falls of his own. He had a strong heart but may have suffered ministrokes. He lost the will to live.

One night, Thompson said, Smith looked limp. She was in pain, but she got out of her chair. She stood next to him for the longest time, holding his hand.

On May 2, he died. He was 84.

Stephanie Hayes can be reached at shayes@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8857.