Category Archives: “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up…”

You Can Not Make this Up.

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    The Sunday Fun Day SHAZAM Parties on Hamburger Mary’s balcony in GaYBOR are always way over the top! On a recent Sunday there was quite the mix of people enjoying the day. On one end was our BFF Brian Chan from the Queen & I Restaurant in St. Petersburg with  a gallery of people. Then there were several fun Gay Guys. 3 straight? couples that were bi sexual swingers (Fetish Con was in town).
    At a table on the end were 8 people who had just come from Sunday church. So it was a very fun mix of people all eating & drinking S HAZAMS!!! Then in walks a straight cross dresser with his wife. Now I mean this with all due respect….      I was not sure if this was a costume or for real. It turned out it was for real.
    He/She was wearing a puffy blue tutu tank top, super wild hair, heavy dark blue eye shadow and a ton of bejangled jewelry. The impromptu walk-in visiting couple were actually really fun pair. They told me that they both drive 18 wheelers for a living. Then tell me that they have their semi parked behind a building on 15th.
    Everybody is on their 2nd or 3rd SHAZAM when a Florida afternoon rainstorm breaks out. The groups all squeeze together at the bar during the storm. After the storm is over the trucker couple are arm in arm with one of the straight bi swingers. They announce to the group they are leaving to the truck cab for fun…wink,wink.
    OMG  About an hour later I was off work and walking to the parking garage. There behind a building on 15th  next to railroad tracks was a large semi parked.
    On the side of the truck it reads, “QUEEN+ Adam Lambert”
    OMG. Did this couple make the truck story up or was it for real???? LOL LOL
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cocktails-with-Tea-Cup-on-Marys-Balcony/833723116647654

You Can Not Make this Up.

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    One very hot summer day we were going to our annual Family Reunion in Hastings, Nebraska. We landed and rented a car from a big national car company in Omaha. Carrie was driving and also in the car were our Florida sister, Yvonne and niece, Natalie. Driving down a long stretch of cornfield lined state road and it was really in the middle of nowhere. The temperatures all week had been in the 107-112 degrees and this day was no different. It was blistering hot! But we were on a mission to go to Lebanon, Kansas over the state line to visit the geographical center of the United States.
    Suddenly we noticed a police car with lights flashing traveling at a high speed in the review mirror. Carrie pulled over on this narrow 2 lane road to let him pass. Surprisingly he stopped right behind our car. We all were shocked and bewildered! We hadn’t noticed even another car for over 20 miles on this road. The officer walked up to the car with his hand on his gun.
    He shouted, “Get out of the car with your hands visible!” The next thing we knew Carrie was handcuffed. The officer looked at all of us with a squinted eye.Then the officer told us that this car had been reported stolen by the rental company. We laughed and showed him the rental papers. This mean cornhusker cop was not amused and made Carrie sit in the back of his police cruiser for over 2 hours in the very hot 110 degree plus Nebraska sun. We just sat in the car. We thought it might be a Nebraska “Book em Dano” experience. My darling sister wanted a bottled water that was in a cooler in the trunk. My niece thought and advised her mother otherwise!
    He had to have the rental company verify the car was not indeed stolen. Not only was the car reported stolen from St Louis, MO but had the wrong license tags on the rented vehicle we were driving. OMG!!!!
    He was nice enough to let us keep the supposedly stolen vehicle until we went back to the Omaha Airport in 2 days. And sure enough they had a tow truck waiting to take the car away on our arrival.
    When back in Tampa we called the car rental company and told them what had happened. They just laughed and said, “This happens all the time.”
     We have never used this big name car company again. NOT FUNNY! NOT FUNNY!!!

You Can Not Make This Up.

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    It was a hot Saturday July afternoon. The balcony bar at Hamburger Mary’s had 8 favorite local regulars all having a fun time. Then in walked a straight couple with 2 high end tech bicycles. You could hear the whole bar say “WOW” all together.
    The newly arrived guy was smoke’n HOT and his wife was a cutie too. They ordered a couple beers and started to chill’n out. Then one of the Gay regulars ordered them a couple beers. The couple invited the guys to join them. Turned out they were very friendly and fun outgoing people too. After several more rounds the group decided to head over to Bradley’s on 7th.
    The straight couple asked if they could join them too. So off they all went. After a couple more hours go by I was looking over the balcony checking out the 7th Ave. scene. Here comes the group all in a party mode. A couple of the guys were riding the couples bikes and the couple was no where. I quickly call the gay guys cells to find out what happened. The couple had gotten cocktailed and said, “You look like nice guys. Would you mind taking our bikes home. We will call a cab and pick the bikes up later this week.”
     They are all now good friends. It’s crazy how you meet people sometimes.

You Can Not make this Up.

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Trips to Key West are always crazy fun. Whe you travel with Judy B. Goode you know it’s going to be wild. We had just purchased our new van when Judy booked a show at “Donnie’s International” in Key West. We parked the van next to the back door and used it as our dressing room.  The locals loved Judy & her show. then I walked in on stilts in full costume. The club went nuts!!!  I performed several songs with Judy then sat down on the bar top. After the show Carrie talked us into staying in full costume and walked down Duval Street. We couldn’t was 5 ft with out being stopped for photos. The next day we were walking down the street and hear Judy singing in a bar. We walked in and they were playing her CD we sold the night before. http://judybgoode.com/

You Can Not make this Up.

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    It was the early 1980’s. The Gay bars and many others were under the control of the local Tampa mob. If you didn’t do things and pay the mobs there were actions taken. With all that said.. A friend of our Rodney was having an age crisis. He was turning 30 years old!!! Oh My!!! One Monday Night at the Firehouse Pub on Florida Ave & Busch we had a party for him. The small corner bar was a close proximity to USF and had just that fun relaxed feel when you went there. That night we talked Rodney into dancing on the bar top one last time as a male dancer. It was so much fun! We all tipped him and said how great he looked.
    There was talk that night that the club owner was not playing by the rules of the mobs. 2 months later the owner of the bar was found in his car behind the club shot dead. The following year Rodney died of AIDS.
    Times we so different 30 years ago in Tampa.

You Can Not make this Up.

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In the early 2000’s we had our store at the Suncoast Resort. Mark was a bartender at “The Grand Central Station” on Central Ave in St. Pete. The owners of the club were very creative an fun!!!  One day…. one of the owner came in with a large bowl vase that he had just found at a junk store. He was sooo very excited about this. Then in an burst of excitement he proclaimed “This will make the world’s most perfect fish bowl!!” Off he went and purchased gravel and a gold fish. He put the fish bowl on the bar top and was so very proud of what he had created. Several hours later the same day in walks this drunken bartender from a different Gay bar. He was always very drunk and obnoxious. This night he was already over the top.  Finishing his beer he sidles it down the bar and hits the new fish bowl. Smashing it and water went everywhere. Of course he was tossed out of the club. Mad and out of control this guy stands in the middle of Central Ave….. whips out his dick and starts to take a pee!!! All the time scream “F U, Piss on you all!!  ##@&%$#!!” But wait that is not the strange part of this….About 5 years go by and we receive a phone call at our then new store in Ybor City. It was a bail bondsman calling. He said that our good friend was in jail for a DUI. He didn’t want to bother us so he has been there for 5 days. We asked him to repeat the name several times. Then the bondsman said he was the bartend at ____ in St. Pete. It was the same guy.  We politely said no thank you, all the time thinking in our head “Piss on You Too!!!”

You Can Not make this Up.

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    It was the week before St. Pete Pride and we were at out store,  MC Film at the Suncoast Resort. The phone rings and it’s an AID’s Organization that we had never heard of before. They were asking for a donation for a basket that they were going to raffle off at Pride Vender Show. We said, ” sure stop by the store and pick up a gift certificate.”
     They asked could we just mail it to them because they were too busy to pick it up. We said that we liked to meet the people that we’re giving too.
    Hesitantly she said, “OK.” The little lady walked in & said “My car is running out side where is the gift certificate?”
    We laughed and gave it to her.  The next year our phone rings and it’s her again. This time she asks if we could replace the gift certificate from last year. The one we gave her last year had expired. We asked why it was not used. She told us that they never got around to giving out the basket and were going to raffle it off again this year.
    We asked her, ” so the people who bought raffle tickets last year were lied too?” The basket was not given out. She than told us, ” they didn’t tell them what year the basket was going to be given out.” We said “NO!.”
    Then we were called every name in the ‘Not So Nice’ book by these 2 crafty old con artists. Their little thieving game was over because we told all the other shop owners at Suncoast Resort and in our newsletter back then! Sorry we don’t have their pictures.
    So many con artists even in the GLBT community!  Be Aware!!!

You Can Not make this Up.

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In the 1980’s we were lucky to meet this fun loving guy named Jim. He was a very large guy with an even bigger heart. He had purchased a home in Semoinal Heights are of Tampa. What fun he and his contractor had with this home. The bedroom next to the master had been converted into a Greek bath fantasy room. In the center of the room were 4 Greek columns. Each one had 2 shower heads point to the center. Jim would laugh about all the fun he had when he turned all 8 showerheads on and would dance in the center! LOL LOL Attached to the home he had a 4 car garage build. In side the home was a narrower staircase the lead up to the Party Room built over the garage. There was a huge bar, dance floor and complete lights, disco balls and sounds. Only one restroom which had a sign on it that said Mensroom. Inside there was a wall to floor urinal for the men! But the most incredible party of this room was on the walls. there behind glass in a custom floor to ceiling was a collection of miniature liquor bottles.  Jim would boost that at this time he had the “Guiness World Record” LARGEST COLLECTION!   A few years later Jim passed away. We cannot help but wonder what ever happened to his miniature liquor bottle collection. THANK YOU Jim for the great memories!!!

You Can Not Make This Up.

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    In the early 1990’s we had this most unusual mystic neighbor. He was small built, nice, quiet but very likable guy with a smile who was very much into the Tampa Leather Community. He was living on disability, was HIV+ so we all invited him to all the dinner parties. He would show up 2 hours early and bake dinner rolls then would be the last person to leave after the dishes were done. What a perfect guest!!!
    He lived in a garage apartment with his many cats and many, many computers. Here is where it starts to get strange…. Nobody was ever allowed into his aluminum covered windows apartment.  He would never answer the door when we knocked.
    Then one day he was wearing cat flea collars on his ankles and wrists. We offered to give him pest spray & bug bombs. He would politely say no thank you. Some of his cats were hiding and he didn’t want to harm them. When he passed away the landlord (who was a friend too) asked us all to come over to the apartment. Long before we knew what it was called… he was a compulsive hoarder. There was so much garbage, piles of magazines, newspapers & all kinds of junk in the apartment that you could not move about.
    There were 3 cats found. Then in the freezer, wrapped in white plastic bags were his dead cats. Thanks to the cable reality shows we all know what this is about today.  Back then it freaked everybody out. 

You Can Not Make this Up.

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We have this friend who is very loud. Especially when he is having cocktails. One day I was bartending and he was having a great time. After several drinks he closed his tab. Then decides to stay for just one more. Thank goodness he was not driving. I ran his credit card again for $5.00. He signed the bottom of the ticket then shoved it back  and says “You fill in the tip. Give yourself what you think your worth!” Tea Cup calmly smiled and started to write a $2.00 but instead wrote $2,000.00. Then wrote $2,000 tip on his copy and handed it back with out saying anything. (He actually rally charged $2 on the credit card) The next day he calls Tea Cup’s cell phone. & says “Uh I was just looking at my receipts from yesterday” before he could say anougher word tea Cup cut him off and said “Sorry I can’t talk right now I’m busy buying a new TV.” Then hung up.  We still laugh about this. LOL LOL