You Just Can Not make This Up

Carrie was at the Tampa Zoo doing some business. When he returned to the van Carrie realized that he had locked the keys inside.  He called AAA and was a 1-2 hour wait.  Just then Former Tampa Polce Chief gave him a call about upcoming Pride Zoo La event and told her he accidentally locked himself out of van at the zoo and was waiting for AAA. Surprised in 3 minutes Jane appeared at the parking lot. No problem and door was opened.

Sometimes is think we should change this to “Straight Friends Say the Craziest Things!”  We have a good lady friend, Mary, who shared this story with us. In today’s business world there are large conference calls.  Our friend was on one of these calls with about 50 people. The American group was meeting a new office group in Prague, Czech Republic.  A guy introduced himself as Pavel. The American team leader said “Hello Paul”. He replied back “no my name is Pavel.”  After several times going back and forth our friend Mary interrupted and said… His name is NOT Paul it is Pavel. Just like the Big Gay Porn Star Pavel Novotny!!!”  The call went silent. Mary started to receive messages from Prague… OMG Right on Girl, You speak Czech… etc. Then the American group leader said “Mary, How do you know Gay Porn Stars?” Because my Gay friends named their cats after him. One is Pavel and the other Novotny. The conference call broke into laughter.  You Just Can Not make This Up    We bet your all Goggling him right now LMAO

We all have that one friend who always makes you laugh. We had told our friend about a new store on South Dale Mabry in Tampa. The store was Fresh Sprouts Farmers Market.  A couple days later we received a call from out friend. She said in a upset voice, “I’ve been driving up and down Dale Mabry and just cannot find that store Fresh Squirts anywhere!!!” We laughed and said that that sounds like a name to a Gay Bar. LMAO  Every time we drive past Fresh Sprouts  we say there’s that new Gay Bar Fresh Squirts.

At a recent event a World Famous Drag performer (we will call Gloria) shared a story with us. Early in her career she had acted very badly towards a certain club owner.  This started a love hate relationship over the years. She never did ever perform at that club again. After the club owners passing, Gloria contacted the club to ask if she could volunteer to perform. The business partners just started to laugh. In the owners “will” it stated that Gloria could never perform in his club!!! Now that’s a fight, even after death. LOL LOL

John is a good Gay friend of ours and is very conservative. His Mom is not and just great fun. One day John told us that his Mom had bought him a Gay statue from a garage sale. He said it was “Too Gay for him. But not to Gay for us. Would we like it?” We said YES. The next week John brought the statue to us. We not only liked the statue but recognized it too.  When we turned it over there was a price tag from MC Film, our store!!! So we sold the statue to somebody who then sold it at a garage sale. Then Mom gave it to John and he gave it to us!!! WOW The statue went full circle and came back to us!!!! LMAO http://www.mcfilm.co/category/you-just-cant-make-this-sht-up/

There were 2 Gay guys walking thru Centennial Park in Ybor City. One homeless guy started to yell something. The gay guys just ignored him and keep on walking. Suddenly a second homeless guy from the other side charged up to the 1 homeless guy and started to yell. “You leave these Gay guys alone. They haven’t done anything wrong!”   The Gay guys thought hum…. Did the homeless guy just stand up for us when being Gay bashed? Just goes to show homeless people are people too.

A friend of ours purchased and old home in the north. The home had a HUGE Party room complete with bar for 20, pool tables and beer tap. At the closing of the home the former owner said, “You do realize the homes comes with a bartender and staff.” Our friend just laughed it off. After the closing our friend heads over to the new home. Once inside he heard a sound coming from the Party Room.  Peaking around the door there behind the bar was a bartender.  The bartender tossed a cocktail napkin on the bar and said “Hi Jim would you like…. a 7 and 7?” Jim said sure and sat down. The bartender went on to introduce himself as the retired neighbor from across the street. He told Jim that he was the BARTENDER!!! In summer he would take care of the lawn and in the winter the snow. His wife was the house keeper and part time cook. Together they work for $100 a week, free cocktails and access to the party room for their family. This went on for the next 5 years until Jim sold the home. To this day all 3 are great friends and visit each other in Florida.

Oh the joys and laughs of being a bartender. On night a cute guy was telling me that he was out celebrating that he just graduated college. His bill came to $18 and on his charge he added a $5 tip for a total of $25. I guess he wasn’t a math major! The next day 4 young girls came in. The one proudly ordered 4 bud lights. I say “NO WAY!”  The girls looked confused and said “Why Not?” I replied that all 4 were wearing club bracelets from last night that said “UNDER 21” and still had black X s on their hands. LMAO LMAO

We once knew a CRAZY Lesbian who went by the name Joey White Feather. She was coming to Tampa for a visit and was going to stay with us. That night when we arrived home the keys to our front door didn’t work. Just then the door opened and it was Joey White Feather. With a surprised look on our faces we asked “How did you get in?” Joey White Feather said that she was also a locksmith and had picked our front door lock. Then she changed the lock.   Joey White Feather then said “Don’t worry I have made a new key. I will just keep the key and I will let you in.”  The next day we asked for the key and told her to leave. How very strange and creepy!!!!

We were at Walmart one day. A little boy walked up to his Mom and Said “Can I have this?” Mom – “NO put it back.” The Boy questioned ‘Why Not?’  Mom- “Because it cost too much.” Boy – “What does it cost?”  Mom – “10 dollars.”  Boy – “How can you tell? You didn’t look at the price?” Mom – “BECAUSE MOMS KNOW EVERYTHING. NOW PUT IT BACK!” The Boy walks away with a look on his face Moms really do know everything. LOL