You Just Can Not Make This Up

At the very 1st public organizational meet for St. Pete Pride. It was held in the leather bar section of the club Grand Central Station. Mark was bartending there at the time. The room was packed with 50+ people.  Brian Longstreth called the meeting to order. He started to introduce the purposed board.  When he announced the treasurer, people actually stood up and starting yelling loudly  *#!@#%  … this person did not become treasurer that night. This year we are celebrating year 15. Maybe it was a good thing that people objected so loudly at that 1st meeting.

 

You Just Can Not Make This Up

A friend of ours just turned 88 year old. We have know Walter for a very long time. Once he told us that when mean people retire they do not become nice people. They only become meaner people. On the other hand when nice people retire they become nicer people. How very true. On a recent night we ran into Walter at Bradley’s. I though to my self when I’m 88 I want to be just like him. There he was enjoying a cocktail telling jokes with friends and waiting for the 11:30 PM drag show.  We walked up to him and asked “How is it going?” Water said “I went to see my doctor this week. He had the nerve to tell me….. that I should think about stop drinking.” I just smiled at him and said “At 88 you think I should think about stop drinking??? Really??? I think I should  think about changing doctors!” If we all live to be 88. I hope we all will be having a cocktails with friends and waiting to see a 11:30 PM drag show!!!

 

You Just Can Not Make This Up

Everybody has a most embarrassing moment. We have several. LOL Back in the 1980’s the  AID’s quilt made a stop at The University of Tampa. It was one of the last times it was shown. Now it’s much to larger. It was a very sober event. There was a very long line outside the arena waiting to get inside.  As we entered the area on each side were 55 gallon tin barrels on the side was written “Donations”….   We reached into our pockets. OH NO we had just come from the grocery store. We had a couple one dollars and a big handful of change.  We proudly dropped what we had into the tin barrel. Unfortunately we were one of the 1st to donated. The handful of coins made a very loud noise. Everybody turned and gave us “The Look”!!!   OMG OMG OMG

 

You Just Can Not Make This Up

We were at the beach one day watching a group of goofy guys from New Jerseys. How can we tell they are from Jersey you ask.  They were wearing socks with their sandals!!!  The guys were eating hamburgers and frys. Just then a seagull swooped down and took a french fry. With a very heavy New Jersey accent he yelled…. “Yo did you see what that Fu*king DUCK just did!!!” We all started to laugh and he went on to say “Yo that’s just not Fu*king right!!!”

You Just Can Not Make This Up

Two bubbly fun girls walk up to the bar and say “Hi Tea Cup do you remember us?” With a bigger smile I say “Yes of course. I gave you my card and you never called me!!!” The girls laughed and said that they were here 2 years ago from Chicago. The last time they were here I gave my card to their Mom. For the past 2 years they have been teasing their Mom that she has a boyfriend in Tampa.  On her birthday they had a surprise for MOM……They told Mom to answer the door. There was nobody there. Then told her to look down. The girls had made a rug with my postcard on it!!!!  Now I’m in this poor lady’s kitchen in Chicago. LMAO LMAO LOLO

You Just Can Not Make This Up

One of our apartment was rented to a Fun Artist and Bartender, who we liked very much. After 5+ years she moved out and told us she couldn’t take everything with her. No problem we have cleaned out many apartments before. In our urban neighborhood things that are still good are put on the curb for anybody to pick up. Out to the curb went bar stools, wine cooler, furniture and art works. Remember we told you she was a artist. Included in this art was a stack of naught but nice framed painting of a woman’s private parts. There was also a lot of  booze. (This is the actual photo of the booze) . We put the photo on facebook with a note FREE to the 1st person to come for it.  Right away there was a message from Bill, a friend of our from the Ybor Quarter had called an Uber and was on his way….. I moved 4 cases of booze to the curb. A car pulled up and the guy jumped out. He said “Did I beat Bill here? I’m his friend and will take 1 case.” We gave him the case. Just as he was pulling off Bill pulled up. We told him his friend just left. “Bill said What friend??? LMAO We started to load the liquor into the car. The Uber driver with a very heavy India accent asked “What is going on here? Why is all this on the front lawn?” We explained it was Urban Re Purposing. He picked up one of the painting of a woman’s private parts and actually says “OH MY this is a Very Good Painting of a Woman’s KITTY CAT!” Everyone laughed and we told him he could take it home and in fact take all 12 home. He put all 12 in his front seat and said ” My friends will not believe that today I found 12 Kitty Cats on a front yard and got to take them all home. I love this Uber job!!!”

 

You Just Can Not Make This Up

Easter 2017 just brought back a memory from Easter at the SunCoast Resort. There were 20+ business at the Suncoast. One Easter the merchants all came together to pass out Easter Eggs. Each merchant packed 500+ eggs with Coupons and gifts from their stores.  Then we rented a Easter Bunny costume to pass out the eggs. The SunCoast resort didn’t like the idea. So they packed their eggs with…… Sand. Yes SAND and thought it was very funny when the eggs were tossed out and hit people. But the big joke was on them. Customers un taped the resorts eggs in the bars, restaurants and hotel rooms. There was sand everywhere. LMAO

 

You Just Can Not Make This Up

We once had a renter who drove for Yellow Cab. He was very nice but also very strange. His small apartment was filled with boxes. Every box had witting on it with a professional label gun tag. You had to walk sideways in the apartment there were so many boxes. There was no cable or TV. He said the government was watching him thru the TV. He was also had a germ phobia. Everything was spotless clean. This is not the strangest part. The very first time rent was due he showed up with…. a brick shape wrapped in aluminum foil. Inside were 475 one dollars bills that he washed, then ironed, stacked and wrapped!!! We took the dollars to the bank and he was right on every time. This went on for about 3 1/2 years. One day he was 2 days late. Very strange even for him. We went to check on him and he had moved out.  He left us a plant and a thank you note. We called his employer and the same thing happened there. He just didn’t show up.

 

You Just Can Not Make This Up

A good friend of our is a fantastic baker and cake decorator. One afternoon she brought a cake to the club for a Birthday Party at 9:30 that night. The regulars were all impressed by the cake. They next day the regulars were asking how was the cake. I smiled and told them that they didn’t make it back and were going to have it the next day. Then one of the regulars, being cheered on by others, said You know the cake rule…. Any cake left for 24 hours is up for grabs. He went on and on. I slipped away and went to the walking cooler. There was a different 1/2 cake left over from another party. I cut a big slice and brought it out. Everybody looked like deer in headlights. OMG YOU ACTUALLY did it!!! I smiled and said yes right out of the center of the cake. Everyone said please don’t tell her!!! She will so kick our butts. To this day they think I really did think cut her cake. LMAO

You Just Can Not Make This Up

One night in a St. Petersburg bar a very large person stood up and grabbed his chest. The person then collapsed onto the floor of the club and was out cold. People started to yet call 911 he is having a heart attack. The bartender yelled “I got this” and then ran from behind the bar to the person. To the horror of everybody watching he… rolled the guy over and pulled his wallet out. Then ran back behind the bar and sipped the guy’s credit card. Then called 911. When the paramedics arrived he was taken away unconscious.  I guess when drinking in St. Pete always give the bartender your credit card in advance.