You Just Can Not Make This Up

One of our apartment was rented to a Fun Artist and Bartender, who we liked very much. After 5+ years she moved out and told us she couldn’t take everything with her. No problem we have cleaned out many apartments before. In our urban neighborhood things that are still good are put on the curb for anybody to pick up. Out to the curb went bar stools, wine cooler, furniture and art works. Remember we told you she was a artist. Included in this art was a stack of naught but nice framed painting of a woman’s private parts. There was also a lot of  booze. (This is the actual photo of the booze) . We put the photo on facebook with a note FREE to the 1st person to come for it.  Right away there was a message from Bill, a friend of our from the Ybor Quarter had called an Uber and was on his way….. I moved 4 cases of booze to the curb. A car pulled up and the guy jumped out. He said “Did I beat Bill here? I’m his friend and will take 1 case.” We gave him the case. Just as he was pulling off Bill pulled up. We told him his friend just left. “Bill said What friend??? LMAO We started to load the liquor into the car. The Uber driver with a very heavy India accent asked “What is going on here? Why is all this on the front lawn?” We explained it was Urban Re Purposing. He picked up one of the painting of a woman’s private parts and actually says “OH MY this is a Very Good Painting of a Woman’s KITTY CAT!” Everyone laughed and we told him he could take it home and in fact take all 12 home. He put all 12 in his front seat and said ” My friends will not believe that today I found 12 Kitty Cats on a front yard and got to take them all home. I love this Uber job!!!”


You Just Can Not Make This Up

Easter 2017 just brought back a memory from Easter at the SunCoast Resort. There were 20+ business at the Suncoast. One Easter the merchants all came together to pass out Easter Eggs. Each merchant packed 500+ eggs with Coupons and gifts from their stores.  Then we rented a Easter Bunny costume to pass out the eggs. The SunCoast resort didn’t like the idea. So they packed their eggs with…… Sand. Yes SAND and thought it was very funny when the eggs were tossed out and hit people. But the big joke was on them. Customers un taped the resorts eggs in the bars, restaurants and hotel rooms. There was sand everywhere. LMAO


You Just Can Not Make This Up

We once had a renter who drove for Yellow Cab. He was very nice but also very strange. His small apartment was filled with boxes. Every box had witting on it with a professional label gun tag. You had to walk sideways in the apartment there were so many boxes. There was no cable or TV. He said the government was watching him thru the TV. He was also had a germ phobia. Everything was spotless clean. This is not the strangest part. The very first time rent was due he showed up with…. a brick shape wrapped in aluminum foil. Inside were 475 one dollars bills that he washed, then ironed, stacked and wrapped!!! We took the dollars to the bank and he was right on every time. This went on for about 3 1/2 years. One day he was 2 days late. Very strange even for him. We went to check on him and he had moved out.  He left us a plant and a thank you note. We called his employer and the same thing happened there. He just didn’t show up.


You Just Can Not Make This Up

A good friend of our is a fantastic baker and cake decorator. One afternoon she brought a cake to the club for a Birthday Party at 9:30 that night. The regulars were all impressed by the cake. They next day the regulars were asking how was the cake. I smiled and told them that they didn’t make it back and were going to have it the next day. Then one of the regulars, being cheered on by others, said You know the cake rule…. Any cake left for 24 hours is up for grabs. He went on and on. I slipped away and went to the walking cooler. There was a different 1/2 cake left over from another party. I cut a big slice and brought it out. Everybody looked like deer in headlights. OMG YOU ACTUALLY did it!!! I smiled and said yes right out of the center of the cake. Everyone said please don’t tell her!!! She will so kick our butts. To this day they think I really did think cut her cake. LMAO

You Just Can Not Make This Up

One night in a St. Petersburg bar a very large person stood up and grabbed his chest. The person then collapsed onto the floor of the club and was out cold. People started to yet call 911 he is having a heart attack. The bartender yelled “I got this” and then ran from behind the bar to the person. To the horror of everybody watching he… rolled the guy over and pulled his wallet out. Then ran back behind the bar and sipped the guy’s credit card. Then called 911. When the paramedics arrived he was taken away unconscious.  I guess when drinking in St. Pete always give the bartender your credit card in advance.

You Just Can Not Make This Up

In 1980 we moved to Tampa. Our apartment was up by USF. Everybody know that I am a bad driver and hate to drive. One day I went out to explore Tampa and ended up at Rene’s Pool bar on Kennedy ave. After a couple beers I got to thinking. How do I get home??? This was a time before cell phones and goggle. LOL LOL WHAT to do??? So I went to the payphone and put a dime in and called…… a taxi cab. When the cab arrived I paid the driver in advance and then asked him to drive to our apartment and I would follow him. Don’t laugh I made it home OK LMAO

Below is from “The Bars That Were”

Bars That Were

Opened 1972 in Tampa on Kennedy Blvd. This was once Tampa premier drag club, under the watchful eyes of Rene himself and his brother Ceasar. this is also where our favorite Reno bartended. Reno today is at “Metropolis.”

What fun times me and my friend Roger had. Back then(1974), both of us 22, we would drive down from Dade City where we lived, hit Rene’s (saw Gloria Gaynor and Donna Summer there) and don’t forget the great hypnotist shows!
We would then drive over to Jacks on the beach, close the bar, and then sleep on the beach. Sundays Pass A Grille was the place all the guys went to the beach. No parking meters either! What a fun safe time.

My name was Doug/Dana..

I have many wonderful memories of those days..

That was a time when drag shows were fierce and the queens were legendary. From 1978 through 1981 I saw many queens come and go..but at Renes you had to be either very talented or beautiful to work in the shows.

During those years I worked with Tiffany Arieagus “who was my personal favorite”. Tiffani Middlesexx, I was there when Rene brought her in from I think it was Ohio I could be wrong but he took her under his well seasoned wing and Boom she was Miss Florida.

Heather Fontaine, Coquina Chell, Eve Star, Sandi Cher, My beloved Kim Ross,

Erica Andress and Mellissa Mason, Tissy Malone, Gerri Day, Dana Douglas ‘the blonde goddess” Chena Black, Chena Kelly, Candi Stratton, Patti Cakes, Chelsea Hazel, Lakesha Lucky “the dancing Dynamo” Mohagany. I remember when Mahogany would be out by the pool before she got her start @ Rene’s and would do mini drag shows by the pool she wore rene down till he finally let her get on the stage and she tore it up and then went on to become Miss Florida and Miss USA. Bobbie Lake worked there for a short time she was basically what we called a Goya girl as was Gilda Golden who worked at Rene’s Briefly as well. The Goddess Roxanne Russell made guest appearances she had moved to Cali..When they would have the Chocolate Coffee and tea show that starred Arieagus, Kim Ross & Hot Chocolate the lines to get in would be around the club..That show was amazing.

The bartenders were Denis Dorado, Reno, Jerry Powel, Don Paxon, Curry Stevenson and others I cant quite remember at the moment and of course Rosie aka baby pussy ” which I named him in 1978″ who worked at the kikiki recently.Lady Tiffany would work the door “she was a hot mess” but a dear.

Eddie Coin worked the door at times in the early days and then the beloved Fruity the lesbian that wanted to be a gay man. “loved her”

It was a most magical time and if anyone from those days is still kickin and would like to contact me please do so @ I would love to have a Rene’s reunion.

I have enclosed a few pieces of memorabilia..

You Just Can Not Make This Up

Our neighbor across the street was quite the HOOT! She once told me, in her very heavy Southern accent, that her name is Miss Cora May. Because she was born in the month of May. I told her that was born in the month of October so call me Miss Mark October. Cora laughed and said it doesn’t work that way. Cora was in her late 80’s when she called one day and said “Mark come over right now I need HELP!!!” We ran over…. there was Miss Cora May in front of her home. She told us that all these people just started to paint her house. We reminded her that she has signed up for the “Paint Your Heart Out Tampa” project. They were all painting her home for free because they loved her. Miss Cora May than said that she had better get inside and start making lemonade for everybody.


You Just Can Not Make This Up

    Back in the 1980’s we had a fun friend. His name was Jack Watts. He was a retired funeral director, owner of the Tampa Cinema and was very active in the MCC Tampa Church. Jack loved to host backyard garden parties. At one of these parties we asked what his neighbors were like? Jack said that next door was a very nice quiet couple from Cuba, that he really liked a lot.
    Jack went on to say he was just a little confused about the children. He couldn’t tell if they had 1 boy and 2 girls or 2 boys and 1 girl. They must all be singing in a church choir because they were always carrying in and out choir gowns. The kids sometimes rehearsed in there back yard.
     Many years went by after Jack passed away. We were talking with a good friend and …….. she mentioned in conversation the street she lived on. It was the same as Jacks. Then asked if she knew Jack?
    YES,  he lived right next door and my parents were good friends of him too. The “KIDS” in 1980’s living next door and outside playing to Jack were Miss Esme Russell.

You Just Can Not Make This Up

Everybody loves Arthur!!! He is a very unique person with a special place in our hearts. One example is. Two couples came to the balcony at Hamburger Mary’s. They were very excited to see me (Tea Cup). The couples asked if I remembered them?? I laughed and said “Yes I gave you my card and you never called me!!” We all were laughing. The couples from Chicago told me that they were here 3 years ago and stopped by before going on a cruise. Now I was a tradition. Arthur then walked up  and with out a introduction as to who they were said…… “How was your cruise?” They looked puzzled. Arthur actually actual said “You know the Carnival Paradise. The last time you were here you were going on the Paradise. I like that boat and have been on it.” Then Arthur walked away. The couples asked how did he know that? He is right it was the Paradise we were on the last time! Arthur’s memory  is incredible. Love me some Arthur