Matt Lawrence on Facebook

Posted on May 5, 2011 by MC Film Festival

This week on Facebook, Matt Lawrence asked an interesting question to the gay community.

“Why are LTR gay relationships scarce in Tampa Bay?” A question that had many people thinking, commenting and answering there inner selves. And most of all a question that needs to be answered by the GLBT community. The comments were most interesting. A Great question Matt!!!!

Matt LAWRENCE

???? I can only think of two couples that have been together, any substantial amount of time, in this community of thousands in Tampa Bay. Why aren’t there more? I don’t get it. And isn’t that what most people want, is to have someone, not be alone etc…. Im not questioning people being single, I am questioning why LTR’s are extremely scarce in gay tampa?

Carrie West, Jimmy Sanford, Alex Levy and 45 others like this.
- Kyle Lam I feel u Matt. I wonder why too.
  
  Monday at 8:22pm ·
- Nicholas Mack Rkc they are scarce in most places (except for a few very rare occasions)
  
  Monday at 8:25pm · ·
- Mick Santiago I was in what I thought was a relationship that would finally take me out of the race, but these days I and others are learning to stand independently and learn to “want” someone NOT “need” someone… I’m now starting t look up again when I walk… 🙂 I hope there is someone out there for all of us…
  
  Monday at 8:41pm · ·
- Dale James Maybe it’s just the people you know.
  
  Monday at 8:57pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE No Dale, that’s why I said of the thousands I know, since Ive worked in the community since 1999, I can only name a few lol
  
  Monday at 9:00pm · ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Travis, that’s a shame, cause relationships are about personal growth, and if one is always moving on to the next, they are never experiencing the personal growth that relationships teach.
  
  Monday at 9:01pm · ·
- Matt LAWRENCE ?@ Jacob, true, but the grass isn’t always greener as they say 🙂
  
  Monday at 9:01pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Jason you are so correct. We hear it all the time in our television and print media, where they essentially say whenever anything negative occurs, “move on.” People are so quick to run, which isn’t always bad, I just think people are viewing any type of problem as totally unnacceptable.
  
  Monday at 9:03pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Stand tall Mick lol
  
  Monday at 9:03pm ·
- Mått Stêiñßãçh idk what a LTR is LOL someone explain
  
  Monday at 9:13pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE i dont know what idk is lol…just kidding….long term relationship lol
  
  Monday at 9:14pm ·
- Mått Stêiñßãçh ohhhhhh long term i wish i had those 🙁
  
  Monday at 9:14pm ·
- David Blake LTR’S are extremely here in the Tampa Bay area,just finding descent friends in Gay Tampa are extremely scarce.But i try not to give up hope for that special someone.-).
  
  Monday at 9:20pm ·
- Nolan Kline I actually have a decent explanation for this but it draws from a lot of social theory. Let me know if you’re interested in knowing more!
  
  Monday at 9:23pm ·
- Travis Rogers I couldn’t agree with you more on that one Matt
  
  Monday at 9:24pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE You may continue Nolan 🙂
  
  Monday at 9:24pm ·
- John Butler I was with my first lover for 11yrs and my third lover for 18yrs, What do you consider long term?
  
  Monday at 9:25pm ·
- Tim Durling Very interesting question! Very important one, too, I think.
  
  Monday at 9:25pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Really John lol, that beyond qualifies lol…When I wrote this I meant I generally dont see people in relationships that have continued past six or eight months sadly.
  
  Monday at 9:27pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE I was waiting for you to chime in Tim… UR never one to stay quiet lol
  
  Monday at 9:30pm ·
- Tim Durling I was brief, however… I could go on for several paragraphs, but I won’t. Hahaha. Best to you, my friend! 🙂
  
  Monday at 9:36pm ·
- Nolan Kline
  
  Haha, well of course there are no absolutes–I’m sure there are many examples of gay couples that have been together for substantial periods of time, but I do think your question has merit. Many sociologists and anthropologists have ideas …on this, but personally, I would argue that it’s a process of hegemony. Hegemony is the process by which people willingly accept their own subjugation and actively take part in it. Hegemonic ideologies are distributed through media, social structures, etc. If we look at how gay culture is portrayed in media, it’s often associated with intense consumption or excess of goods, alcohol, sexual partners and more. Monogmoous relationships don’t really fit into the excess and consumption model. So, returning to hegemony, what does this mean? Why would gay men be portrayed in media as having a fun lifestyles of excess and consumption that they buy into and replicate? Because, looking at this through the lens of hegemony, if gay men are not monogamous then the process of gay coupling will not challenge the unquestioned dominance of heteropatriarchy. Conversely, heteropatriarchy would be toppled if homosexuals were paired as often as heterosexuals. I hope that makes sense…
- Monday at 9:39pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Nolan, Ive said this before, my mother is an author, my parents were both school teachers, I went to a private school, but my grammar is beyond terrible lol…. What you wrote looks great, I just couldn’t keep up with all your big words lol
  
  Monday at 9:46pm ·
- Nolan Kline HA! No, I’m sure I may just need to refine the way explain things!
  
  Monday at 9:48pm ·
- Dante Queen because most gay men just wanna fuk, that’s why im still single cuz i want more than that
  
  Monday at 10:07pm ·
- Tim Durling Is gay Tampa ready for growth and progress toward a deeper more meaningful level of relationship building, both on a “couple” level and on a “community” level? Thoughts?
  
  Monday at 10:29pm ·
- Hart Tomas
  
  Unfortunately this phenomenon is not limited just to Tampa Bay- Part of it here is that this area has probably a higher transient population than other cities. But the primary consideration is just the biological wiring of the male of the s…pecies, we are pre-programmed to be hunters and gatherers, and not really programmed for monogamy,straight or gay- but trying to get two people that are programmed that way together and to stay together increases the odds against it. It’s not a new problem but the reality sucks as each generation realizes it and comes to terms with it collectively and individually. Hang in there, like they say MR. Right will show up when you least expect him and when you stop looking so hard for him. 🙂 ?
  
  Monday at 10:37pm ·
- John Telander my last relationship went fourteen years
  
  Monday at 10:53pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE ?@ hart, I’m not single lol, haven’t been for a long time 🙂
  
  Monday at 11:30pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE U go john 🙂
  
  Monday at 11:30pm ·
- Richard Zulkowski
  
  My partner and I have been together 8 years and counting we have had ups and downs. But he is my best friend and I love him with all my heart. Most gay men look at is he hot does he have cash or is he well hung. All are great but will not …help you find true love. Follow your heart not your dick. This is my advice. My bf is hot and well hung but poor. But I love his brain over his body. Look to marry your best friend and not a sweet piece of ass
- Monday at 11:55pm ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Richard I a not single and haven’t been for years… but thank u for your tacky, beyond tacky lol, words…
  
  Yesterday at 1:07am ·
- Jason Cammuse I still view Florida as a transient state and somehow this influences the temporality of relationships. Always someone better moving into the neighborhood and unitl that mentality waivers in the general population then relationships will suffer.
  
  Yesterday at 2:09am ·
- Jason Cammuse Oh and that’s not inherent soley in the Bay area but most urban areas in Florida!
  
  Yesterday at 2:10am ·
- Jeremy Gloff People say they want a man but they really want a mannequin.
  
  Yesterday at 2:29am ·
- David Schauer And fewer all the time
  
  Yesterday at 3:45am ·
- Judy B Goode Mark and carrie from MC Film have been together 32 years!!!!
  
  Yesterday at 6:34am ·
- Doublemband MikeMonrad Mario Jooste We just celebrated 16 years!….
  
  Yesterday at 7:27am ·
- George Henry not just in tampa,its everywhere,mostly has to do with ppl not wanting to compromise,sacrifice,..alot of guys have this whole fairy tale image in their mind of who they should be with,and an extremely selfish mindset in general,,it takes a lot of hard work and patience to stay with someone as long as my friends jeff and devin have been together,and there still going strong!!
  
  Yesterday at 7:49am ·
- Bob Cristaldi Call me I will give you the answer!
  
  Yesterday at 8:00am ·
- Brian Longstreth
  
  Matt, maybe it’s where you chose to hang out that you don’t see the other couples.. look up Florida Gulf Coast Couples, look in many of the older neighborhoods in St Petersburg, and you’ll find them working on their homes, yards, raising fa…milies etc…go to Home Depot or Lowes….they are there. they aren’t into the clubs, rarely go to the beach, but do eat out often in many smaller restaurants throughout the city, many of them owned by long term gay couples. They get involved in other civic activities, arts, theater, and socializing with other couples and friends. They are out there…..
- Yesterday at 8:11am ·
- Jack Oneal Cause most gay men, just like straight men can not keep their dicks in their pants… just saying
  
  Yesterday at 8:32am ·
- Jason Peterson
  
  I’ve had the same question for years Matt. Not only in Florida. I’ve lived up and down the East Coast and the plague seems to be evident throughout. I too, can only name a few couples that have been together long enough to consider an LT…R, but a deeper question for me – “Why don’t most couples believe in monogamous relationships?” To me, that’s one of the most important parts of a “relationship.” Call me old fashioned (or maybe a little naive) but I believe in “Foresaking All Others” – I’ve found that and I hope anyone else that wants the same will find it too… It does exist, you just have to be strong enough to stick it out…
  
  Yesterday at 8:59am ·
- Mark Carrie We LOVE YOU!!! M&C
  
  Yesterday at 10:45am ·
- Brian Humphries A LOT of people in Tampa are flakes! And it stinks cause a lot of people are not from here either….On a side note there are relationships that have lasted a long time…You just do not really see them in bars/clubs that often :)..
  
  23 hours ago ·
- Matt LAWRENCE ?@ both brians…yes ur correct, we just don’t here about them cause they ain’t on here postin details about it or out at bars or clubs together either. Good points 🙂
  
  10 hours ago ·
- Matt LAWRENCE And congrats mark and carrie… I know some vodka and meyers dark has helped lol
  
  10 hours ago ·
- Matt LAWRENCE Good pt jason 🙂
  
  10 hours ago ·
- Al AlandChucktravel Ferguson someone should forward this entire string to Watermark…finally something not so trivial on FB! LOL. Commitment…in good times but more importantly bad times. To have that person be your best friend and best friend’s stand by you and tell you the truth. My partner Chuck Scott has been my partner for 24 years. I was nothing before him. I am his. He is mine.
  
  5 hours ago · ·
- Larry Wood
  
  I also think being originally from here and moved away for a while, Its not only here. We are taught by movies, tv, novels ect that with love theres those damn butterflies. when the butterflies are gone its time to move on, wasn real ect wh…en in reality there is no perfect person out there its up to YOU as well as the other person to keep the spark/butterflies alive. Love the person your with faults and all because when your committed to each other no one will have your back or love you the way that person will.