You Just Can Not Make This Up

There really is a thing called “Minnesota Nice.”  One holiday I flew home to Minnesota to visit my parents. Dad asked me to go furniture shopping with him, to buy a new kitchen table for Mom. We went to a very nice furniture store and picked out a beautiful table set. Then Dad says, we will take this table but no not want all 4 chairs. I only want 3. I’m like Dad really…Why? He said that the table is up against the wall and they never use that chair. Of course, the salesperson knows my Dad. He said that the table comes with 4 chairs and the price is the same for 3 chairs. Then out comes Minnesota nice. Dad tells the salesperson to keep the 4th chair and give it to somebody who needs and extra chair. We took the set home and set it up. Mom liked it a lot, then asked where’s the 4th chair? Dad told her the whole story. Mom gave me the “WHAT???” look. Then just smiled and said “Isn’t that nice.”

You Just Can Not Make This Up

I was busy bartending one time. Just minding my own business. The manager came out and ask me if I go by the name “PINKY” I said no, why? Someone just called and asked if Pinky was working today and you are the only person, I could think of who would be called that. I took it as a compliment!!!

You Just Can Not Make This Up

We have a crazy wild fun lady friend. She has a German accent and loves to laugh. We were at one of her party homes recently and she has a new sexy boyfriend. Laughing she told us she trains her boyfriends like dogs.  She has a 3 bells system. Just watch this…. When she rings the 1st bell and the boyfriend comes over and gives her a kiss.  When she rang the 2nd bell he came and asked “Is it time for champagne? We then asked what is the 3rd bell for?  With a naughty smile she said “This bell is for when I want sex NOW!!”  I had to ask “Where can I buy one of those bells?”… We just love her so much!!!

Our good friend Miss Judy B Goode had a fun hippy sister call Lee. Growing up, and later in life,  they would have typical sister fights. Lee was older and born on Veterans Day, November 11th.  As we all know on Veteran Day it is customary to wear a paper poppy flower to honor the veterans.  Lee would tell Judy that she was much more important than her because on her birthday everybody wears a poppy!!!! For years Judy believed this and  they would argue about this.  At Lee’s celebration of life Judy gave everyone a poppy to wear.  Now every time we see a poppy it makes me smile.   GO Lee, you got Judy good. LMAO

You Just Can Not Make This Up

The names have been changed. We were filming an episode of Tru T at our home. One of our guests was an elderly Drag Queen who exaggerates her age. This day she wasn’t feel her best. The host of the show Tyler Butler had brought her from Sarasota in his new BMW car. After the shows they got into the car and headed out. 3 minutes later Tyler called OMG she just got sick in his new car. He was coming back to clean the car. LMAO We cleaned her up and the car too. As they were getting on the I-75 on ramp he could smell it again. So, he stopped and put the top down on the car. We know how Tyler drives. He hit the gas and took off. Just then her wig and hat blew off and hit the windshield of the car behind them. OMG OMG LMAO You can just imagen what the other drivers thought on the way home. There she was in full make up, chandler earrings, tons of jewelry & no hair!!! Just look at that nice guy taking his grandmother out for a ride. LMAO  https://youtu.be/_qEXB_qzn48

We all reach an age where the cheater eye glasses are needed.  Everyone know that the best place to buy these is at The Dollar Store. I was getting tired of my friends walking off with my glasses. LMAO At the Dollar Store I picked up 20 pairs. Standing in line I looked down at my basket, full of eye glasses and thought what if they say something?  Sure thing, the child at the register smiled and said “That’s a lot of eye glasses.” I had a plan and said back “Yes there are a lot. I am using them for party favors at a 40^th Birthday Party.” She said “What a great idea. I bet you could do this for a 30^th Birthday too.” LMAO LMAO

You Just Can Not Make This Up

A legendary Drag Diva was very ill. Shortly before her passing the community had a fundraiser for her. The community and generous club owner made a large donation to her cause. She was most thankful of all the love and made her feel very honored. She was worried that someone would steal the cash so she hid it. After her passing the administrator of her estate looked and looked for the money but did not find it. They did all the right things and closed the banking account, turned the utilities off &, &, &. Then they went to the post office to close her mail box. There on the bottom of the mailbox, under the mail, to their surprise, was an envelope with the cash in it. For years this was her hiding place for cash.  You Just Can Not Make This Up.

There comes a time when guys start to notice too much gray hairs sneaking in. When that started for me, I went to an older guy friend (Donald Vanderborgh) to ask for advice. Donald told me about Just For Men hair dye. He also said to get the lightest possible and don’t leave it on for the full 5 minutes. I have been taking his advice for over 20 years now.  Donald always used black hair coloring for his hair and mustacho. The last year of his life was spent in hospitals and rehabilitations. He went 1 full year with no color and everything turned back to grey. At his funeral, some of his former co workers said that they would have never recognized him with all the white hair.  I just laughed (his secret was safe with me) and told them it must have been the medicine because it turned that way all of a sudden. LMAO!!!  Donald husband at that time was Buddhist and he was very close to the Buddhist community.  It is customary for them to burn incest at the funeral. This Funeral Parlor said no to smoke.  So, they sprayed cologne on him instead. He left this world smelling GREAT!!

We all have a favorite Crazy Great Aunt. Our great Aunt, who just turned 90, recently purchased a very small electric car. She was laughing about how small the car was. One day she picked up 3, 80- to 95-year-old girlfriends and headed off to a favorite park. The park has a fun hiking trail. Suddenly she had an idea!!!! Let drive the car down the hiking trails. The 4 ladies started to drive down the gravel trail. Politely (ya right??)   asking people to get out of their way!!!! They were almost all the way thru the trail when the car got stuck on a small wooden bridge.  She called for help and out came the park rangers. The rangers scolded the ladies not to drive on the trail again. Then started to laugh and said they all look like their Grand Mothers. Our naughty Aunts, Of course  then invite the rangers for cocktails. LMAO

Carrie went home to visit family in Wisconsin. Arriving back home in Ybor City I carried has suitcase into the house. I remarked it was very heavy!!! When I opened it up it was filled with Wisconsin cheese!!!! Then I noticed there were no clothes in the suitcase. I asked where are your clothes Carrie????? With a big smile Carrie said I had the clothes shipped home to make more room for the cheese.